"It's So Hot In Texas That......"* The birds have to use pot holders to pull worms out of the ground.
* The potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
* Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
"It's So Dry In Texas That..."
* The cows are giving evaporated milk.
* The trees are whistling for the dogs.
"You Know You're In Texas When..."
* You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
* You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
* You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
* You can make instant sun tea.
* You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
* The temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
* You discover that in July, you use only 2 fingers to drive your car.
* You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
* You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
* Hot water now comes out of both taps.
* It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
* You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
* No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
* Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
