Deep Thoughts...

Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed it remains popular?

Never raise your hands to your kids.
It leaves your groin unprotected.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks he is always locking three.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal.
There you go...
I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her.